For All the Confused Women Out There...!

Warning: The Following post is a ‘FUN’damental view about girls from a guy’s point of view. Some facts may or may not be wrong or offensive and it’s not intended to target any particular person or group.

I recently had conversations with many girls as usual, but interestingly, I found a knot in all these conversations, it was during the topic about the new Tamil movie Vinnai thandi varuvaaya. So before I go into the topic, let me give a brief summary about the movie’s plot. It’s a simple love story, guy meets girl, falls in love. Girl’s dad opposes, girl gives up then breaks up and marries someone else, and guy makes a movie about it. It’s purely about Love. A simple, pretty realistic thing in any normal person’s life.

So what’s the knot? Its Trisha’s character. She’s shown to be quite confused about the relationship; she’s not able to decide if the relationship is important or parents. In fact, she stops her wedding at last moment for her love, but then breaks up with him for a more simpler reason that ‘dad won’t accept’. She moves on with her life, getting married to a guy her parents chose for her... Indian style Arranged marriage.

All the girls I spoke (about 8 girls) about the movie, had this to say. They all had felt connection with Trisha’s character regarding the confusion with relationship. Yes. All of them are in a relationship but still confused if it’s the right decision. They all said the same; they saw themselves in Trisha’s position. Even though the situations differ, coz it was not dad’s opposition to their love for all of them. One or two might have that fear, but other’s had really cool situations. Still they had this confusion all the time. It was only about the relationship. Even though they love the guy, purely mutual and have a lot of feelings for each other and it was not some time pass relationship or a lustful one either.

So why is this confusion? I say it’s a normal behavior. It’s a general characteristic of the female species. According to Darwinian and dawkin’s theories of evolution, it is the key to the road of evolution otherwise called the ‘mate selection’. We, humans and animals are the same when it comes to mate selection. Animals mate only for reproduction. So they look only for the best mate for a better offspring, it is the female’s choice of mate selection; females own the right to decide whom she mates with in order to reproduce. Hence males have to woo the females in different ways to get the female’s attention and attraction. In fact, it’s of the one reason why all the male species have beautiful features than females, ex. Lion, peacock, etc… simply just to attract females.

Since females have the power to choose their mate, it is very essential to use it responsibly. Hence, they find the “Right one”. Same with humans too, but we expect more than just reproduction and sexual pleasure, we need emotional attachment and care for a long period of our life. Hence, female species in humans need to find the “right one” very carefully and so they become very picky or pick everyone.

When a girl likes a guy, then gets into relationship with him, and gets to know him better, she might have a second thought about him and the direction of relationship, if she doesn’t feel that he’s the right one, and then the confusion starts. If the girl has tendency to give up expectations and settle down with the available one, it ends well. Otherwise, the relationship ends and the girl eventually find another one or search for possibly the right one. A good illustration of this character in women is shown in the movie “500 days of summer”. (watch the movie, you’d definitely know what am talking here)

Ok… if women get to choose their mate. What about men? What can they do ? This is where it hurts the male ego. Males have a sense of dominance and a bigger ego that lives within. In Humans, Men knew about this evolutionary characteristic of female species at a very early stage, and then established a dominant society, where the women were degraded to a mere sex machine. In ancient Greek and Indian civilizations especially, women were not given the respect they deserve. Greeks treated women just as a source of reproduction only, so that they wouldn’t have a choice of finding their mate but rather submit to any male’s sexual favors. Indian society especially in certain caste and communities; women were treated even worse, like not being let out of the house kitchen, no education, being married to a man as a child and also burnt to death when dead husband is being cremated and a marriage system where men chose the women as a mate, an inverse effect. although there’s exceptions as seen in epics like Mahabharata and Ramayana, where the bride was allowed to choose the groom for her marriage, in form of a game or sport.

Not only in old times, still in India, many don’t get to make marriage choices for the most part. They settle down with the man their parents choose for them, and live a life, even though the guy may or may not be the right one. Of course, things are changing with the changing times, like in western countries, it is turning out to be a love marriage with parent’s acceptance these days, then also, and most of it is in cities.

So women out there… if you are confused about the relationship, it does not entirely mean that you are with the wrong person, You might be with the right guy, but yet to find that out in him but if you know, you are with the right one. No matter what may come, don’t lose him and Girls know how to get what they want.