A Bitter Cold Vacation at Storrs

A look back at my 3 day Ruined vacation at Storrs. It happened to be the first time I went back since I moved out to Chicago before 5 months.

I have listed it from worst to the best.

Things that went wrong

1. Chicago to Boston flight: the weekend started off with a 3 hr delay of the Flight to Boston, which was re-routed to providence for 2 hours because of some landing difficulties in Logan airport. It resulted in a 3 hr delay, so Reached Logan at 8 pm instead of 5 pm and in turn reached Storrs at 10 pm. Entire Thursday was over.

2. Work from home: I planned to work half day from Storrs on Friday (7 am to 1 pm CST). This did not go well because of 2 reasons: I forgot my VPN connecting hardware and laptop charger in office. Both were essential for my laptop to work. I figured out a solution for VPN but couldn’t find a charger in time. L

3. Busy schedules on Friday: in my entire 3 year stay in CT, this was the first time; I saw that people were busy on a Friday afternoon. Things had changed drastically. Whoever, I called didn’t pick up the phone or were busy doing something.

4. Unexpected Heavy SNOW: the super villain of my ruined weekend. It freakin’ snowed the entire Saturday, making life difficult for everyone and delay/ruin all my plans of meeting people.

5. Power Outage: the Super Villain’s Super weapon. Power went off at 2 am on Sunday morning and did not come back until I left Storrs at 2 am Monday morning. Still not sure if they got power back.

6. People: I planned this trip basically to meet everyone I knew at UCONN and Storrs. Unfortunately, once I went there and only realized I hardly knew anyone there now. So many new faces. The old ones were probably tired of seeing my face over and over again, that some of them didn’t even meet me in these 3 days.

Things that could have been worse

1. Transportation: Luckily, I decided to get a rental car this time to go around to places. It proved worthy (even though I ended up spending a bit more than I expected) else, I would have been stranded in one place depending on others to take me to places.

2. Diwali Function: as I mentioned before, I thought I knew a lot of people, going to Diwali function made me realize one thing... I was an Outsider now. It was proved as soon as I entered the hall, with a $20 price for ticket (first time in 4 yrs, I paid for a Diwali ticket). It continued for next 1 hr where I scarcely found anyone I knew among the crowd that came in.

Things had changed everyone I knew had a different group now. I was not in anyone’s circles anymore, but fortunately, everyone whom I knew talked to me for at least a chit-chat enquiring about things, which is way better than being the loner in a crowd.

3. Power Outage: even though the apartments had lost power, the University campus had power. So it became a savior for my phone as a charging point and a place for meeting some friends. I can’t imagine that Sunday without the Campus. Yes, things would have been much worse without it.

Things that went right

1. I have finally learnt that even I can “Let go”. J

2. I had my first experience driving in rain and snow conditions in the USA. Esp. at high speeds in a highway and it went all fine without any trouble.

3. I drove at graveyard time amidst big scary trucks to reach airport on time for return, another new experience.

4. I made 8 new Friends, some I already knew on Face book but met them for first time.

5. A realization that “No matter what changes, there are still some people with whom you can re-live past experiences”.

6. A reason to smile that I am remembered even now by many, for a lot of simple things/help I had done in the past.

Some one tell me a solution..!!

It’s been 3 months since I relocated to Chicago, with my job.

And I am have been to a lot of places, seen what needs to be seen here and explored the entire North Chicago suburbs. But am still New here... you might ask why?

There’s only one reason. Friends…

Not just any Friend, but Friends who you can go out... spend time... basically hang out. I haven’t even made one friend like that here. Everyone I know here, I knew them pretty much before I came here.

So why have I not made friends? I don’t know the answer. Here’s a list of things anyone would normally do in a new place to get friends and their results with my experience.

1. Friends from past or mutual friends (thro another friend): This is the best source for getting new friends, in a way, cos you already know someone or a friend through another friend.

2 of the 3 people I knew here moved out to elsewhere, when I came here. I did meet the third one but he’s busy with his own life. The Mutual friends I got through my past friends, well they have their own group of friends and social life etc... I see that on FB all the time. . It’s very hard to break into a new group, also I guess it would be little uncomfortable for them with a new person around, hence do not consider me I guess… (Depends on their flexibility and timings too). – TIMING FAIL

2. Work Place Friends: all of the people I work with are family types. Married with 2-3 kids. If hanging out with a pair is called third wheel, what’s it called for hanging out with a Family? Spare wheel? - MAJOR FAIL

3. Meeting new friends at Bars/public events: I have to admit, I still haven’t figured out how they do it in movies, where you find people who are alone in bars and public places. Because, I do not seem to find anyone like that. I tried going out to a bar/public event in OKTOBERFEST, alcohol plus public, seemed like a really good place to make new friends. Well I was partially wrong. I did make 3 new friends; unfortunately, they were college students from Michigan on visit here. So no scope on hang out again..! – PARTIAL FAIL

4. Dating Sites: The modern way of making friends, dating sites. This should work out rite. Its simple Fill out the damn questionnaire for almost 2 hours, upload pics, write about you, be cheesy and manly at same time. Then message girls, even if not for dating, you’d get friends. Simple rite?

No. not at all… I did join a dating site; I literally messaged every single girl around a 10 mile radius. (Why NO guys, u might ask... Men seeking Men is Gay!) . They could reply, not interested in your friendship or such... or they could at least REPLY. – Medium FAIL

(Note: I did make a slight progress, 2 girls became FB friends with me.)

5. Malls and Theaters: If you cannot get a friend in a bar… what are the chances in a Movie theater, esp. in USA… I went to about 1 movie almost every weekend. So far, I have hardly seen 4-5 people in theaters and they are couples, who have come to theater, just to keep snogging. Those things not only disgust you, but also increase your Irritation about being single.

And, when you come to a point, when you think Screw new friends, I’ll stick to my old buddies, people whom I’ve known before from my previous location, they know me, they will be there for me.. Become all senti and all with it... it turns out, half the people don’t even care, even to call once in awhile, or at least Pick up the call once in a life time. The other half, get reminded of me and Call me only when there’s something required of me. They call me multiple times in a day, talk for hours, until I am needed, and forget me once it’s done.

I realized that of all the friends, I have made in the past 4 years here in USA, there’s no one, who has at least visited me once, called me often without asking any questions or help or considered me as a part of their life and said, ‘Am their best friend’.

So tell me. How the F do you make new friends? I honestly don’t know, I have never come across such a problem. A relationship is difficult I agree... even a friendship is so tough?? What has the world come to? Or am I doing something wrong? Is there something I am missing here? I don’t get it. Simply don’t get it.

(This is a Just a Simple rant, any resemblance to many or some of my friends may or may not be co-incidental sometimes true, but it is not intended to hurt anyone. If Hurt, I apologize)